ENNo. Was obsessed. I'm We're all sort of obsessive people. I was really obsessed. And you know You considered Inner Scope an a very intense mission that had to succeed. Obsession doesn't make for a great partner at home. You know what I mean? It's like, so, you know, I'm like, okay, I'm 65 years old. You know, how many summers do I have left? As Tom Weights would say. You know what I mean? It's like, I was 38, seven, eight. And so does that mean every minute of the day is on making sure When did you feel the rel was there any sense of I love that you didn't finish the question. That's Till when? We talked yesterday. You said something like you're always like a happy uh optimistic person but miserable at the same time. I do for sure. I don't want to sit on the beach So, you lose a status part. is that this is this is where I want to talk to you about. So from the time let's say you're 20 you start to 65. You did not feel peace. But you sell you become a billionaire. You sell beats to Apple. What'd that feel like? Okay. No peace though. Well, because company like Apple pays you a lot of money. I'm my father's son. I got a job to do now. That doesn't matter. What matters is there's a job that you're going to do that you're not going to be I I have to get the job done, right? Money is a piece of it. It's really great. You know what I mean? But if I have your money, I'm … because I got to do the job. And that's kind of one of the reasons I left because I I really couldn't do this sounds really corny. I couldn't do me there. It's a great place, but I Twitch. How does it feel when you're going through when it's like when you your version of bend is it has to be? Is it just you wake up with like overwhelming pressure every day? Like what is that? You don't have any rearview mirror. Oh, that the video with Well, we're both record producers. Why? [laughter] solitude. Dre I mean Dre doesn't Dre don't go anywhere? Every time Dre and I have to go do something, he calls me the night before and say, "We really have to do this." This is 32 years of it. Do we really have to do this? Why are we doing this? You know, so yeah. No, he um he's much more um like that than me. I feel that way too. Like this is why I like small conversations like this. But if you say, "Hey, come to this group dinner or come to this public event." I'm like, "That's just not gonna happen." Like there's just no way. Swiss Beats, Timberland, Forel, you know. I love all these guys, man. I get along really well with record producers. I don't know what it is. I I don't think about it, but I know that if I meet a record producer, that's always my favorite people I meet. Your example is very different than most of the founders that I talked to or profile because like Steve would be working on Apple no matter what. He just absolutely loved it. Work for you was always work. It's like I shouldn't say like you can't wait till it's over. Is that the right way to think about it? Well, you see the problem was that I had was if it sounds possible, it was the only place I felt relief, but but I was still tortured. [laughter] So, you know, so I don't know what the rest of my life was, but we had this conversation yesterday and I I told you I was on the phone with a friend driving to your house and we had the same conversation where he was just, "How are you?" And I'm like, "I'm fantastic and miserable at the same time." Yeah, I know. And and we we talked The two words you use are happy and miserable. You're the first person I think actually could explain that to me about how I feel cuz everybody's like um I just was interviewed on another podcast and he's like, "Are you happy?" And I was just like, "Yeah, I'm happy, but like I also like am striving to do something." Oh, for sure. Most of them are. But my whole thing is like I don't also want to go through life like that. This is where Bruce Springsteen you I mean you kind of push me in this direction too when you're like go watch that movie you know because I I didn't when Jimmy says go watch a movie I'm like okay I'm going to go watch a movie. I thought I was going to watch a bioic of his life. That's the only movie he would make. yeah, Do you think Bruce is at peace? I mean the words of John Lennon I'm just trying to get me some peace and Christ you know it ain't easy. So you know I mean uh I didn't invent this. you know we all lie to ourselves and then I'm sure about some things but I try not to. I I just want to I just want to find peace, you know what I mean? And um every day is a search for it, you know? And the monsters want to come in. And you got to make your … bigger than the monster … You know, my father would say, "As long as the cat's bigger than the … keep the cat. The minute the … gets bigger than the cat," he went like this. I must have been 13 years old, 12 years old when he said that to me. And he was right. When you were building Innercope or really anytime in your career, when you were younger, what was your inner monologue like? Was it negative to to yourself? Were you were you like overly self-critical? So it wasn't you're like this product. you grow up when you grow up when you grow up like that when did you lose that fear of being broke Dude, I thought you were going to say like when you were making tons of money in Innercope. That's wild. No, because you beat yourself up. You feel that if you 60s. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because No. on that. Where do you think that would happen? So like might not be in your professional life, but it might be in your personal life. [laughter] And you learned that from him. He was your best friend. Wow. Was it worst day of your life? I want to ask you some advice unrelated to work. I just saw that you have on your wrist a bracelet with your wife's name on it. How important has that relationship been in your life compared to your work? Super super intense, You get more satisfaction out of that. Yeah. You need something to work towards. Not only that, I want to see that I can get something done without being nuts. Without feeling that horrible feeling, you know, I mean, I feel like I can get something done without feeling like that. You know, it really is the truth, you know. But, by the way, not everybody feels like that. There are some really talented people who are completely happy about their work. I don't know, but [laughter] but I'm sure there are. Oh, you've met like I mean your entire world, your entire life was surrounded by top performers, by geniuses, by people that are, you know, at the top of their profession. And I'm that's why I would light you up with questions the last two times we saw each other about like what these people are like because what you just said, I want to try to create something great without being nuts. Yeah, me too. And I like want these examples of that. Um, I didn't go to therapy long enough, early enough in my life. Cuz to unring the bells of your childhood takes a lot of work. I'm very pro therapy, you know. I really am. It's true. It's not the It's my way. It's my It's not the only way. When did you realize, oh … I needed And what does really serious mean to you? not just show up at the appointment and listen, but actually change your behavior. Were you doing it like in like in your 30s and 40s? I started in my 30s and 40s, but it I wasn't a good patient or customer or client, whatever the … they call. [laughter] The minute the minute I walk on the phone, I grab the phone, they like, you know, it was like No. No. Well, my divorce, very simple. I I was in a marriage and we were married and everything was going along. And then when we got divorced, which people do, I realized that that was a time that I needed to get my … self-contained. All of a sudden, I got an idea about life that I didn't see before. So, I pursued that. It's no different than the school or beats or or streaming or any of the things that I Yeah. If I had the idea earlier, I would have did it [laughter] earlier. because of some of the things that you told me, you know? So, some of the personal stuff you told me. I said it's a lot easier to to go with a guide. It's a lot easier to learn how to play tennis with a tennis teacher. It's good to have somebody in your life that doesn't have Everybody in your life has an agenda. If you find a person without an agenda, it's you can get a lot further. You could have those other people who love you very much and care about you, but but to have the one without the agenda for me uh was very helpful. Everything in my life is guttural. But you have to know you're wrong. A lot of times you're doing things for reasons that are controlled by that childhood, right? [snorts] So as you work through that, you start doing things for more of a reason, more honest reasons that are not driven by that voice of your childhood. There's another thing that you said to me about you always kept a small circle of These are true friends. that's how many people Okay. I haven't seen baseball. By the way, I don't I don't need another shortstop until the the other one dies. You know, [laughter] I I limit it. I don't go for six, you know. Yeah. Yeah, I trust other people, but not like that. Not to where I connect like that. You know, I'm very lucky. Oh, you know, when you get to be 72 years old, you have some friendships that are 50 years old. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. It's nice. But, you know, on the on the school thing, we're on to something. And I like to build I like to do something which goes back to all the business stuff that's going to catch on and going to grow on its own, you know. So I think like the stuff we're doing in the inner city, we have five schools now. These are high schools now. So that's the way you want high schoolers and people in college to learn. What's the best way for you to learn something new now? I How the hell do you learn to produce records then? Well, like anybody my age that's in music or around culturally, there was the big bang which was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. I was probably 11 years old, right? And I didn't have a currency in in my neighborhood. I wasn't an athlete. I wasn't physically big. I wasn't any of the things that worked in the neighborhood. And when I saw the Beatle, I said, "Oh, there's a currency I can have." Yeah. It was terrible. I mean, you know, I was in a band, you know, like but I realized quick I wasn't going to be in the Rolling Stones. Then I met this woman through my cousin, this woman Ellie Greenwich, who took me to recording sessions and that's where I saw that guy with the leather bag and the, you know, and the beautiful woman "Oh, that's it." [laughter] And so you just learned by observing? I can see how you can learn to be like a engineer, right, in a recording studio that way. But then you go to a much more almost like creative Well, cuz I had an instinct. I had an instinct for again for what the audience would like and what they wouldn't like and what was good and what was not Based on my taste influenced by John Lennon and Bruce Springsteen. An intense intense therapy sitting next to them every day for five years. Yeah. And they taught me what was cool and what was not cool and what was good and what was great. Difference between good and great and what you do to get there. And so then I was able to produce records because of those two people. I watched them. I watched Lando. I watched John. I watched John Lennon. I watched Bruce. I said, "Oh shit." And I just absorbed it and I applied it. That's how when Bruce gave me the song Because the night for Patty Smith, I was able to translate that into a record where I was the producer. I always wanted a song that sounded like the animals, you know, it's my life and other, you know, that that and we got to get out of this place, right? So when I heard that song and I heard the chorus because he had the chorus, right? I said, "Shit." And then I heard because the night belongs to lovers. I said, wow, if a woman sings that, that's powerful. So I said to him, you going to use this song? He goes, no, it doesn't fit on this album. I said, okay, can I use it for Patty? And he was great. And he said, yeah. And she rewrote the verses and killed it. But connecting the dots, you know, and you could you could learn a little bit how to connect the dots, but you got to be that kind of person that just sees you can connect the dots. And that's as simple and as difficult as it is. I was always able to connect the dots and see what could be, what what this is and what it could be. But that's what always tortured me because I would see something and see what it could be and then try to get it to be that is maddening. Even with Beats, I, you know, I I saw the iPod and we finally decided to do it. I said, "Oh, wow. It it could be that, you know, it could be as cool as that. We got to make it as cool as that." Cuz the iPod was really cool, you know. No, but you observed him. I observed them and Steve would talk to me about him and I saw and but I was always very into the fact that when I met Steve I never understood instinctively why Sony had Columbia Records the Walkman PlayStation and then the CD and all this stuff and how did Apple become become Apple and not them. No, Marrio died. I am not as smart as those two people. And I'm just telling you the God's honest truth, man. They knew how to do what they were doing. I don't know how to do what I I don't really know. I do. I know how to put … together. You know, so that's really cool. But Absolutely. He would say that guy was really knew what he was doing. He he really had a feel and you know it was obvious to me, you know, Marita bought Sony, bought Columbia Records, bought Colombia Pictures. He saw the distribution, the hardware, the software. He saw it all. But Steve took it not literally, but it was part of the inspiration behind He talk in interviews, he talks about how what he loved about Akio and the Walkman in particular because Akio had to fight to build the Walkman in his own company. They're like, "This is the stupidest thing." I remember being with Bruce Springsteen and he told me, he said, "You know, this guy, this guy from Sony came up to me, you know, and he runs the company." He says, "The guy asked me to put these headphones on if there was enough bass and it was him." [laughter] So, this guy got it. Yeah. you know, and I never met him, but I know he got it. You know, I learned a lot from Steve. I learned a lot from Bruce. I got really blessed. He's three years older than me. You know, from Bono, you know, a lot from Bono. Bono's 10 years younger than me. When I met Bono in 1983 and we did Under Blood, we did Under Blood Red Sky. I said, "Holy … the framing of how artists are thinking it's changing." I said, "Wow, look at this." The music was different, you know, and the kind of music that was going on that they were doing was different. It was a take on punk, but it was like more ethereal and different. So, and also he's an extrovert whereas the other guys, a lot of the guys I worked with weren't. Dre. I feel like he was some kind of like prodigy as a young person but then he just has this relentless work ethic. So he took like innate talent and I don't and seems to like just through an insane like day after day after day after day dedication Well Dre and Bruce have a lot in common. even back then they weren't compromising. So Bono was an extrovert. So his bend, same thing, comes from like this childhood trauma. Yeah. No, no, no. He just is naturally positive person. He can he's tough. He can get plowed through things. He's works is incredible work ethic, incredible writer, incredible lyricist, incredible performer, but he's positive. Whenever you see him, he's got an idea. He wants to do this. He want He's got very broad interest. I mean, you know, I didn't go on vacation till I met him. Let me say more about that. So, you were just myopically focused on achievement. I love this story where you fly to California for the first time, No. 20. Never been in a hotel. And then um I I don't know if it's the same trip or later I think Talon Petty put you in a house. You had never But that's when you start to like, oh wait, the world is huge and I there's a lot in front of me if I if I focus on this. Okay. Yeah. You know, you see it for the first time. I never been on a plane. I mean, I've only been to Manhattan, you know, because of the work, you know. The minute I got off the plane and my my boss Roy said, "Let's rent the car." We rented a Cadillac, right? And we drove down Sunset Boulevard and it was December and it was 75 78 degrees or something like that. I said, "Are you kidding me?" I said, "No, this is the weather like like California, you know." So I went to uh pull into the Beverly Hills Hotel. Yeah. Ever. Except except the host motel in Pennsylvania where the car pulls up to the door, you know that one of those places a little different from where Yeah. Said, it's the port of California. Yes. With the one of the biggest ports in the world or whatever. I said, "Thanks." I go back to my room. I call my mother. I said, "Mom, how did you get this wrong? We land in Ellis Island and we live 30 feet from Ellis Island. It's freezing. It's cold. It's Yeah. So, how long did it take for you to to move here permanently? How many years later was that? Six years. And that's when you he put Tom Petty put you up on a house. Well, because it was I was in Again, I never I never had a house. I lived in an apartment, right? There was noises outside the window, you know what I mean? So, I was completely freaked out, you know, but Petty was uh Petty was incredible. He was the first guy I worked with that was my age. He was like only two years younger than me or something, but he was like he was more of a contemporary of mine at that point. We were both trying to prove something, right? So, we'd locked in and he was just great songwriter and again perfectionist in his art. He would never bring a song in. Tom Petty never brought an average song into the studio. He was a great self-editor. He would come in, that song would be complete and done. Bruce is like that as well. Yeah. He wasn't thinking about again like everybody else. He wanted to have a better life, you know. And another guy that had issues with his father, but he had commercial instincts cuz there's a great line in the documentary where like he writes some song and you're like I think he wrote a great song and two other ones. You're like get seven more, we're done. Or like this song's going to buy you a house. And Tom's like, "I had never heard anybody talk that way before." Yeah. Yeah. right?" it was a velour couch and he says it's not a velour couch. I grew up with velour couches. [laughter] Okay. Only my velour couch have plastic on them. I [laughter] know it felt Rick Rubin sitting there in Italy in this incredible house backlit. We looks like Moses. [laughter] I'm going to Last thing. What did you think of production value today? You happy? It's a very nice time. It's very nice place. It's perfect. This was fun. Oh, don't leave me hanging. Don't leave me hanging, Jimmy. Come on. No, you're good. Thanks, man. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please remember to subscribe wherever you're listening and leave a review. And make sure you listen to my other podcast, founders. For almost a decade, I've obsessively read over 400 biographies of history's greatest entrepreneurs, searching for ideas that you can use in your work. Most of the guests you hear on this show first found me through Founders.